Not knowing




 

I had a discussion with father once about planning. He said he has given up on planning, since nothing ever goes according to plan. Even though I agree that plans rarely go our way, I disagree that we shouldn't plan. 

In my opinion, We don't make a plan to know where we will end up. Instead we make a plan to perform actions that needs to be done. The outcome is not in our hands, we may have chosen the wrong path, but a plan gives an internal logic why that path is right for us.

But this is easier done than said. Any plan we make is in the hope of attaining a goal, with the hope to achieve a particular outcome. We humans have a tendency to find the biggest problem that we can see and try to find a solution to that problem. And if we don't find an answer to that problem, It becomes an itch that we can never get rid off.

 This might be the reason why young ones are more happier than adults. They have fewer itches since they have fewer problems to solve.

When it comes to religion, I have made stance clear in the past that I don't believe in god. And maybe, the reason why people of faith find religion calming is because they find an answer. It may not be a logically sound answer or doesnt provide any concrete proof, maybe the answer is completely wrong, but they found an answer nonetheless, and so the itch fades away.

A person without religion needs to answer the same question in an another way. Maybe with science, statistics and hypothesis. Something that would make sense to his mind. Again these may be the wrong answers, but he finds peace in it until a question arises on why his current answers are wrong.

When a person does something bad and feels guilt and shame,  he faces many unknowns. He wouldn't have answers to many of those questions and that makes things unbearable for him.

  • What could I have done differently? But what was done can never be undone.
  • Did I deserve what I got—or was I treated unfairly? But it was never in your control.
  • Was I not punished sufficiently? It was never for you to decide and you fear the unpaid consequence in the future.
  • How did I affect the person I hurt? Are they okay now? But you can never know as they don't want you in their life.
  • Can I help them? Would I only hurt them more? Can I even trust myself with them? Something that shouldn't concern you anymore.
Maybe this itch to answer these question. An unquenchable thirst to know the unknowable is what makes life unbearable.

Lately, I’ve been listening to a lot of talks on YouTube—reflections by older, wiser people, including my father—about not knowing, and being okay with it.

A Buddhist monk once said:

You can’t change the past.
You can’t know the future.
You can’t control what others think of you, nor can you control their actions.
The only thing in your control is your thoughts—and your reaction to them.

Bhagavad Gita also resonates in a similar trajectory : 
  • You have a right to perform your duties, but you are not entitled to a specific outcome. Never consider yourself to be the cause of an outcome, nor be attached to inaction due to this uncertainty. _ Gita Chapter 2 verse 17
  • Perform of your duties unflinchingly, abandoning any attachment to its success or failure. performing your actions with this calmness and composure, even when it is difficult called Yoga. _Gita Chapter 2 verse 18
  • Those who are not a source of annoyance to anyone and who in turn are not agitated by anyone, who are equal in pleasure and pain, and free from fear and anxiety. _ Gita Chapter 4 verse 15
  • Those who dedicate their actions to God, abandoning all attachment, remain untouched by sin, just as a lotus leaf is untouched by water. _ Gita chapter 5 verse 10

    It's okay to ask questions. Let your thoughts rise—but see them for what they are: just thoughts. Not answers. Not predictions. Not truths.

    You don’t have to react to fear—it hasn’t happened.
    You don’t have to chase desire—it may never be real.
    You don’t have to do anything except be here, now.

    Let your thoughts guide you, but don’t let them steal your present. Every time you slip into the past or future, gently return. Pause. Take five minutes. Look at the color of your walls. Listen to the hum of the fan, the chirping birds, a dog barking in the distance.

    Peace is only ever found in the present.

    And it’s okay—even beautiful—if you never find an answer.


    Comments

    Post a Comment

    Popular posts from this blog

    What is right and wrong

    Image
    In the video I shared from the channel Unsolicited Advice , the host discussed the views of the philosopher Nietzsche, who believed that morality defines what is right and wrong—what is good and what is evil. It was one of the few well-articulated philosophies I’ve come across on the subject in YouTube. While I agree with Nietzsche to some extent, I don’t believe morality is the only factor that defines what is good or bad/right or wrong. Morality is just one layer in the broader question of right and wrong, but it plays a significant role in how we define “good” and “bad.”  It alone doesnt explain why people engage in activities which they themselves considers wrong. It can only be explained if there was an opposing force which told them it is the right thing to do. And so it can only be explained with a  multi-layered approach. Where One layer says it is wrong, but an another layer says it is right for him to do.  Let’s take the example of rape to examine that behavior ...
    Read more

    Gita - Chapter 1 & 2

    Image
    I have been wondering what to write about for sometime, I have already put forth everything my mind has to offer till now. Rest of it is mere fragments with no real weight.  Since I have run out of ideas of what to talk about, I thought I will revisit Gita and re-interpret it in my own words. As mentioned in the past, I don't believe in gods, but I do find Gita to be a philosophical treasure trove. I am rewriting the story in my own terms, as I understand it, as it makes sense to me. I will be rephrasing the words as I see fit, remove god from the picture, will be removing the concept of Atman, as these seems outdated and doesnt seem to be based on what I see as real. Gita Chapter 1 and 2:  [re-imagined] The sun rose over Kurukshetra —the dreaded battlefield where kin would slay kin. Uncles, nephews, cousins, teachers, and students stood ready to spill each other’s blood for the throne of Hastinapura . On one side stood the Pandavas —fewer in number, but led by men of unwaveri...
    Read more

    A plea to consider living

    Image
    The video I watched today is from Simon — a 17-year-old boy who shared a powerful message with the world: don’t take your own life, the pain is temporary. I hope people hear what he says. I hope it helps someone. I hope it might bring some peace to those who need it. Asking to wait just a little longer is good, as it brings clarity. But I don't agree with his message that the suffering will pass if you simply wait. The noble truth of suffering: birth is suffering, aging is suffering, illness is suffering, death is suffering; union with what is displeasing is suffering; separation from what is pleasing is suffering; not to get what one wants is suffering; in brief, the five aggregates subject to clinging are suffering.  _Buddha You can wait two minutes, two months, or two decades — but suffering is inevitable.  Suffering is not just part of life; it is life. Why? Because our minds are designed to think based on emotions. We grieve what we lost, fear what we don't know, chase w...
    Read more