As I mentioned in an earlier post, I’ve been on a personal search to understand guilt and shame—feelings that have stayed with me for a long time. I went through video after video, article after article, and noticed one common thread: most of them assume you don’t deserve the guilt or shame you’re carrying. I found that approach shallow, even frustrating, it assumes you're wrong to feel what you feel, when your own mind knows the guilt is earned. One suggestion I came across was to list all the good you’ve done on one side, and the bad on the other, to evaluate whether you “deserve” to feel guilt and shame. I find that insulting. People don’t feel guilt because of a label—they feel it because of a specific incident, a real mistake that changed how they see themselves. If society forces a shame without the underlying incident, it would be in our instinct to reject the notion (unless others controlled the environment too). In my opinion, in most cases, for most people, they...
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