Does God Exist?

As shown in my previous posts, I don't discourage suicide but I do encourage to think the consequences of it. 

Across the world, most religions claim that God exists and that after death, He will judge your actions — rewarding you with heaven or punishing you with hell. And almost every god in every religion unilaterally condemns suicide.

So I think, it is important to reflect  on this before deciding to end it all. 

Despite never truly believing in God, I did experience something I can only describe as His presence. It happened during a time when I felt completely severed from my family. For that brief chapter of my life, I was utterly alone — at least in my mind. No parents, no siblings, no friends.

They did eventually show compassion and forgave what they could when I reached out. But in the space between cutting myself off and reconnecting, there was a deafening sense of loss — a weight that crushed my very soul. It was as if I had been orphaned by every living being.

That’s when God appeared to me. Not in the way prophets claim to have seen Him — there were no visions, no revelations. But in that crushing void, He was simply there — consoling me, whispering, “Just stay a little longer. Everything will be okay. Go back home.”

He became the one I spoke to when I felt truly orphaned. And though that orphaning was my own doing — with no one else to blame — God remained in my mind, unwavering.

Then, when I finally reached out to my family and they understood the danger I was in, they embraced me, consoled me… and just like that, God disappeared.

Since then, I’ve come to see Him not as a deity, but as my personal walking stick — something I lean on when everything else gives way. The quiet support that helps me take one more step when I have nothing else left.

My personal stance is that God doesn’t exist — that He’s a construct of the human mind. This perspective makes it much easier for me to approach death without the weight of religious judgment.

But for someone who does believe in God, I think it’s important to introspect on this aspect too. So, for the sake of understanding, I’m willing to temporarily entertain the idea: that there is a God, one who weighs your deeds and will judge you after death.

This brings up an important question: Who is this God?
One religion says it’s Allah, another says it’s Jesus. Some point to Zeus or other ancient deities, while others believe in an entire pantheon of gods.

So who’s right? Is it the Muslims, the Christians, the Hindus… or someone else entirely?

The truth is — no one really knows. If we did, there wouldn’t be thousands of religions, each claiming to hold the exclusive path to salvation.

And if most of these religions require belief in their specific god to enter heaven, then frankly, your odds aren’t looking too great.

It’s a dilemma best summed up by Ricky Gervais, who once said, “The only difference between a religious person and an atheist is that the religious person rejects 2,999 out of 3,000 gods — while an aethist rejects one more god than you.”

Now, looking at it from a more critical perspective — if I demanded that you obey everything I say without question, wouldn’t you call me a tyrant?

So why isn’t that same label applied to this supposed God? In fact, not only is He spared such judgment — He’s praised as good for demanding unquestioning obedience.

In my personal view, if God does exist — and chooses to remain hidden, only to judge and punish you based on whether you believed in Him — that isn’t good or just. I would even go so far as to call it sadistic.

So for me, the question isn’t whether God exists — it’s whether His existence actually matters in your death.

If he has made you capable of taking the wrong step, yet failed to guide you… if he is unable to tell you which of the texts are not his will… and if he punishes you for picking the one which is not his will — He has basically set you up for failure. Chances are that you will end up in hell even after living as per the religious texts. 

Statistically, If you believe in God and don't commit suicide, your odds are worse than a 0.1% chance of entering heaven, given that you are choosing on one in thousands of religions which might be right. Add to this the rules that each religion provides on how to live to enter heaven, makes the probability even starker. 

However, since nearly all religions condemn suicide, that chance drops to 0% if you do believe in god and take your own life.

So the only question is whether this 0.1% chance is worth delaying your death. That is completely your call.

That said, I’m not personally against religious texts. In fact, I often find them valuable — especially when they focus on human experience rather than gods or supernatural feats.

Whether Moses parted the sea or Krishna lifted a mountain doesn’t affect my life or death. But the fact that meditation and detachment can bring peace of mind? That matters and it helps to both live and to die.